BREAKING NEWS:

  • letter
  • print
  • follow

ALL ABOARD: What Michael Phelps, oscillating fans and gerunds have in common

By JIM FREEMAN
South Whidbey Record Columnist

Aug 22 2008

It occurred to me this week while watching extremely fast Olympic Jamaicans run, incredibly fast Olympic Americans swim and exorbitantly expensive Olympic TV commercials linger that the writing of a weekly column has the same initial excitement.

Certainly this South Whidbey First Amendment effort is not on the international scale of the Olympics, but we did garner a bronze in excellence last week for newspapers with a circulation of 10,000 or less featuring five-digit zip codes that start with 982.

As my brother Lew used to share with me during our childhood Midwestern bouts of wiffle ball, badminton and horseshoes (all Olympic sports in the back yards of Columbus, Ohio), “You know Jim, you run off at the mouth better than most catfish.”

Beginning a column is like the sound of the gun that starts the 440.

You’re off, but not by much.

You’re on your way.

A specific distance.

Measured in column inches.

A precise language. No more than 500 words.

Oh my God.

Do I use another adjective or just wait for the next gerund?

I cannot help but feel the tension of a Michael Phelps as I begin the next paragraph.

Will I touch the side of the column when I want to?

What if the editor stops my margins before they are ready?

As I began this column, I thought about all the other columns.

All the words. All the misspellings. All the confusion.

The years of effort beginning with our junior high paper, The Cub Courier.

(Columnist’s note: In 1961, The Bear Facts, my dad’s recommended title for our school news, was considered too racy for seventh-graders.)

From The Cub Courier to The Knight Errant, our college fraternity paper featuring my monthly column on how to party.

Then the much-appreciated Whidbey Chronicle, The Loon, The Island Independent, the Whidbey Marketplace and our award-winning South Whidbey Record, our Olympic medium of neighborhood journalism.

Gliding around the curves of a column, like the 220 in track, is a joy to be shared only by doing.

The splash of the pretend ink as it hits my monitor.

The fiber optic transmission in the middle of the night, across international borders, without incident, just electricity.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

Like the history of the oscillating fan, the relative similarity of athletics and journalism, of competition and deadlines, of obscurity and the classifieds, we are there when the heat is on.

Up to the moment.

Up to the minute.

Or at least the column inch.

The thrill of the word chosen.

The feeling of the word transmitted.

Who needs synchronized diving when you can choose between a diphthong and a split infinitive?

Considering all of the letters in the alphabet and all of the words in the dictionaries and all of the languages spoken, it is certainly a wonder to me that there is not more confusion.

What if we were all politicians and had to interpret each other?

Oh my.

Here’s the finish line.

COMMENTING RULES: We encourage an open exchange of ideas in the PNWLocalNews.com community, but we ask you to follow our guidelines for respecting community standards. In a nutshell, don't say anything you wouldn't want your mother to read. So keep your comments:
  • Civil
  • Smart
  • On-topic
  • Free from profanity

We ask that all participants own their words by registering for an account. It's a simple process that will take seconds and helps keep our comments free of trolls, cranks, and drive-by commenters.

As a community site, we ask that the community help by using the "Flag" button on each comment if they feel the comment has violated the rules. You can also use the up and down arrows on each comment to voice your opinion about that particular comment.

Want to tell us something but you don't want it to be public? Talk to us privately.

Most Read Stories

Most read in Whidbey Island

  • Judge spares dog's life—for now
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 14 2008
  • Woman charged with assault after fight
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 25 2008, 1:34 PM · UPDATED
  • Kenmore quits its Oak Harbor flights
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 21 2008, 2:27 PM · UPDATED
  • State audit says Langley employee used city credit card for personal use
    SOUTH WHIDBEY RECORD
    Nov 28 2008, 10:51 AM · UPDATED
  • Women take over county
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 28 2008, 12:53 PM · UPDATED
  • Jim Gabelein passes away
    SOUTH WHIDBEY RECORD
    Nov 24 2008, 8:23 PM · UPDATED
  • City poised to tighten up on night life
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 21 2008, 3:38 PM · UPDATED
  • Fate uncertain for longtime Langley drugstore
    SOUTH WHIDBEY RECORD
    Nov 22 2008, 8:00 AM
  • Ready for the worst
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 18 2008

Most read in Washington

  • Redmond High School cheer coach dismissed; rumors swirl
    REDMOND REPORTER
    Oct 27 2008
  • North Bend man dies at Snoqualmie Falls
    SNOQUALMIE VALLEY RECORD
    Nov 28 2008, 3:18 PM · UPDATED
  • Bellevue High School football team bus flips in I-5 accident
    BELLEVUE REPORTER
    Nov 29 2008, 11:10 AM · UPDATED
  • Judge spares dog's life—for now
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 14 2008
  • Woman charged with assault after fight
    WHIDBEY NEWS TIMES
    Nov 25 2008, 1:34 PM · UPDATED
  • Man with terminal cancer bids farewell, thanks Kirkland for all the memories
    KIRKLAND REPORTER
    Today, 5:06 PM · UPDATED
  • State liquor stores closed on Thanksgiving; contract liquor stores may be open
    JOURNAL OF THE SAN JUANS
    Nov 25 2008, 2:50 PM · UPDATED
  • Four Bainbridge juveniles arrested for theft, vandalism | UPDATED
    BAINBRIDGE ISLAND REVIEW
    Nov 24 2008, 9:05 AM · UPDATED
  • Suspect in fatal shooting at Southcenter mall to be arraigned Dec. 8
    RENTON REPORTER
    Today, 2:38 PM · UPDATED